She handed me her keys. The 3 o’clock Balara grind was something she was all too happy to pass on to me. I had a tiring day too, no doubt, but of course I still oblige. It’s only right…right? I rather enjoy the in-car conversations anyway. There’s just something about open windows, Magic, and her in the passenger seat. That’s all you need right there. Well all I needed apparently.
There was never going to be an easy answer to that question. Because for whatever reason, it’s never quite as simple as laban or bawi no matter what Joey de Leon might want us to think. But then again, maybe it should be. Maybe it should be enough to like someone and just go from there.
And for all my question marks, she always provided such stark contrast. She was always fairly sure about things. When holding her hand, it had to be her right with fingers interlocking. She needed to get the report-to-commander call by 8 because her parents were early sleepers. And now she wanted to see Sex and the City at Greenbelt.
And of course there are the other things. No other girl friends (actually at times no guy friends either) lest you feel the wrath of random jealous fits. The constant PDAs or even the need to be hugged or held all the time regardless of what mood you may be in. And there’s pretty much no compromise for any of these little things. So not surprisingly, it never seemed on the whole as something I could reasonably provide for her (at least not at the level she expected anyway). And in a word, it was all so clingy suffocating.
Or maybe that’s all just a whole lot of rationalization. Because, after all, once the choice is made, you can’t really go back and change things. For all his insanity, perhaps there’s a little bit of the Joker in all of us. Maybe we all remember our past in many ways. After all, having a multiple choice history does make things more interesting convenient.
But in the end, it’ll probably make us more crazy than happy too. Natuldukan na eh. And maybe that should be enough.
I give her back her keys...and go from there.
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