I knew college wouldn't be like high school. Back then my world seemed so small and, more importantly perhaps, so controlled. I'd be in school by 7am, and it didn't matter that I was early for class because I had a classroom in which to hang out.
The room wasn't anything special. It had the standard desks and chairs arranged in six neat columns of seven, and the blackboard up front. But for all its ordinariness, it was my room. I'd be out of class by 3pm on most days, but not home until around 5 or 6. Not that I lived that far away though.
On Tuesdays, when my dismissal met up with hers, I would go over to Kathy's classroom just to be with her for a while. The rest of the week I'd find myself just lounging around with Dennis and the rest of the gang, until Mang Jun would ask us to leave so he could finish up his cleaning. That usually signaled for my day's adjournment.
Barring the occasional spur-of-the-moment gimmicks when there wasn't much to do the next day, or when there wouldn't be a class at all, I'd end Tuesday by kissing Kathy goodbye as she got in her white Civic, as I would have to do so too. I would ask Dennis if he needed a ride again, but this was just a formality. I never came home alone.
U.P. just seemed so overwhelming. I wasn't really looking for a fresh start. I was already stable and secure. I had already found my place then, and it just seems so hard to find it again here and now.
Dozens of students fill up the long corridors, some walking hurriedly to class, and others just sitting in front of the rooms waiting for theirs to start. The lobby doesn't even have many people in it yet. There is no rallying there, just the three people sitting by the lobby wall nearest the big clock by the central stairs and a couple other groups of three or four by the posts at the back of the lobby. Everything is already so noisy, as the chatter of each cluster overlaps with the others. And while everything around me seems so alive, I've never felt more alone.
I had always imagined college would be kind of like this. New beginnings are just awkward I guess. But in the back of my mind, I had this assumption that I'd be walking these halls, going to class, having lunch, doing pretty much everything, with Kathy. I keep on forgetting that she's a year behind me. I miss her already. I miss everything about my past already. And I guess I'm really thankful that Dennis is here too. He may not be in the same course as I'm in, but anything that helps with my transition period is certainly welcome. Closest thing to having her around, well, until she actually is around come next year.
As I trek towards my class a resounding "Noel!" catches my attention. I turn around, and there's Dennis right on cue walking past the guard at the entrance. Another figure follows behind him. It's not really a surprise that he's made a friend already. I stop of course, waiting, as they approach. I try to espy his companion, but can't get a clear view. That is, until they're close enough to converse.
It was her schoolgirl outfit that first caught my attention. Complete with the floppy white socks, the short plaid skirt, and cute little white blouse, the only thing missing was the tie. It certainly showed enough of her to accent her fair skin. And the whole schoolgirl image fit her petite frame. In the end though, it was her face that made the most lasting impression.
"Oh yeah, Noel, this is Jen, my blockmate." Dennis' voice snaps me out of my momentary trance. The rest of it seems to trail off right around there though.
She starts to smile in acknowledgement of her introduction. Her narrow lips begin to bridge her softly-defined cheeks. And as she flips her bangs to one side, she reveals chinita eyes that seem to twinkle in complement.
It wasn't a fullblown smile--just a sort of half-smile filled with the warmth of "nice to meet you" and the awkwardness of first meetings. But it was sweet and sincere--the kind of smile you look for in a room full of strangers. And in seeing it, I couldn't help but smile too.
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